“Oh Hello October, 2018, when did ya creep up on me?” That precise question is what I woke up to on October 1st, 2018. I was staring at the ceiling, giving into gravity and refusing to fight against it. It was the sixth day after my 33rd Birthday and I held the day hostage at gunpoint, threatening the World to stop rotating on its axis.

“Omg, why?” were the only 2 words that I could barely get out of my lips, as my head remained in the foggy mess that it has been in for the past few days. I felt like everyone and everything let me down, but most importantly I felt like I let myself down for what seemed like a millionth time. I felt the familiar sense of anxiety start to rise from the bottom of my gut and I quickly washed it down with a dose of “The Daily Bread” (Christian Joke).

I swear I was 25 when I went to bed on September 30th and woke up to a increasingly state of awareness that I was thirty freaking three. That’s it, my life was over. As an Indian female 33 is the age where my eggs had officially met their expiration date. I had expired eggs. So I laid there in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking how I never wanted to have eggs for breakfast again.

What the hell happened to the “10 things I want to accomplish before I’m 30” list, I pondered. I squinted hard as I tried to remember atleast the top 5 goals on that list, and my eyes began to get wider as I realized the fact that I absolutely accomplished nothing from it. Gravity won once again, as the liquid pooled from the edges of my eyes and overflowed down to my pillow.

I was not disappointed in the fact that I did not accomplish any of the goals I set for myself on that stupid “before 30” list. It hurt more that I was laying there, feeling sorry for myself, and letting gravity make me its slave. For God’s sake! If there’s one thing The Great Mahatma Gandhi has taught me, it is that I  am nobody’s slave! So I sprung up from my bed, freed my shackles and ran into the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror, pointed a finger at my image in the mirror and said to myself “Listen here Vivi, you are not defined by your failures! So what if you’re 33!? You live in an age where your eggs can be harvested and fertilized in someonelses body! (I mean, I’m 33 guys, it’s harder to get back in shape after the whole pregnancy ya know).” Then I said, as the confidence within me began to rise, “You are bold and you are beautiful! You are still Young and maybe a little restless! But these are just the Days of our lives. Someday you will share how ludicrous you felt today with All of your Children.” I stared at that tear stained face and said “Also, no more Daytime Soap Opera titles in your motivation speech.”

Then I wiped away my tears, put a gleaming smile on my face and reached for the toothpaste. The tube was empty. I calmly made my way back to the bed and let gravity make me its side piece once again.

The thing is we all have days when we wake up and feel utterly lost. Days we feel like our World is ending and things like an empty toothpaste tube might push us further into our disappointing thoughts EVEN through our most incredible Daytime themed Soap Opera pep talks!

The Silver lining is in the fact that the Sun DOES set, no matter how powerful of a weapon you chose to hold it hostage! It will set today and rise again to a brand new day tomorrow. Though we might feel lost and inadequate at the moment, it’s not how we are meant to feel forever!

Getting older is a gift. If we see age as a ticking time bomb than we don’t leave space to appreciate the Wisdom it can offer at the current moment. A life lived according to a timeline with no gain in wisdom is worthless. Cherish the moment, which you will wish you were in 10 years from now. Love, live and be the best you can be at this moment! Get out of that bed and go borrow some toothpaste from your roommate or that super cute neighbor who drives that nice jaguar and walks around like he’s too poor to afford buying a shirt.

Do not let the overwhelming feelings of today become a theme of tomorrow. Gravity might win the War today, but Your willingness to keep trying is what will win the Battle in Life.

May Love, Peace and Joy be yours today.

“If I have seen Further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” -Sir Issac Newton